Right, so I know it’s Thursday and technically, Hobo Mondays are supposed to take place on, um, Monday, but I’m sick so give me a break. Plus we’ve been out of town for the past two weekends in a row and I’ve had other things to do. Bitch and moan, bitch and moan.
Ok really, I feel like such complete ass that I wasn’t sure I was gonna partake in this month’s Hobo showdown, but at around 4:30 I got semi ambitious and rose from my position on the couch to make dinner. Mostly cause I knew I had a really, really cheap recipe up my sleeve and I couldn’t resist the challenge.
This month the goal was to make dinner for two people for $3. “Too hard! It cannot be done!” you say. Well, I’m here to say it certainly can. Especially if you have a pantry stocked with staples. So take that!
Today I made spaetzle outta my pantry. Well, the intention was to make it out of my pantry cause the ingredients list said “milk and flour” and I said, check and check! But when I whipped it together…
Things I hate? Shitty recipes that obviously have not been tested
I started with a spaetzle recipe out of Simple to Spectacular: How to Take One Basic Recipe to Four Levels of Sophistication by Jean-Georges Vongerichtan and Mark Bittman. Ingredient list said 2 cups flour, 1/2 cup milk. THEN when I got to the directions, somehow the recipe had changed to only 1/4 cup milk. Lets just think about it for a sec. Mix 2 cups flour with 1/4 cup milk. What do YOU think would happen?? Hmmmm…
Right, so then I added 1/2 cup like the recipe said in the ingredients section. Still not enough you say? Yeah, you’d be quite right. So off to Google and it appears that MOST PEOPLE make spaetzle with egg in it. Thank God I just happened to have 4 eggs in the fridge. Nevermind that the expiration date was in April and it’s…June. Yes, I did the egg float test and all four passed, albeit just barely. Alright, so first crisis averted (yes, there were more).
Next up – the making the spaetzle part.
I looked at my colander – the holes seemed too small. But the holes on the steamer insert of my pasta pot seemed just right. I threw the steamer over the pasta pot, tossed in the batter and forced it through with a spoon. This, of course, was not going fast enough for my liking so I threw the spoon aside and used my hand. I can certainly understand why older German ladies have a lot of upper body strength – this was a royal PITA. But I persevered and continued to push the batter through the holes. I gave up when there was a thin layer of batter left in the steamer – my hand started to get hot.
At that time, I figured the spaetzle had cooked enough – it had taken a few minutes to get all the batter through the holes. So I dumped the spaetzle into the colander in the sink. But the water wouldn’t drain out of my colander. Some sort of accident ensued (I don’t want to talk about it) and half my spaetzle went down the drain. In a mad panic to save it, I tried scooping it with my bare hands back into the colander.
Ever tried picking up hot pasta right out of the pot with your bare hands? Yeah, it’s not a bright idea.
So now I have burns on my fingers and the majority of my dinner is in the disposal. Did I mention that I’m sick and I have no patience??
Oh yeah, and ever tried to wash things in hot water when you’ve got a burn on your hand? That would be crisis number three of the evening.
Arghhh…anyway, so then I made the sauce part. And of course cause my patience was waning, I didn’t quite make it the way I had originally intended (it was supposed to be a sage BROWN butter, but I didn’t want to wait. In retrospect…).
Without further ado, and cause I’m tired and need to go back to being fully horizontal, the breakdown:
Flour – pantry (thus free)
Milk – $0.16 for half a cup
Eggs – $1.04 (I really have no idea since they were bought so long ago – but I used 4 out of a pack of organic, cage free, happy chicken eggs. Cost will be MUCH LESS if you use the regular factory farm eggs. But that’s on YOUR CONSCIENCE my friend).
Corn – $1.10 for a small can
Sage – I’m growing it so it’s free
Onion – $0.20 for half a cup diced
Butter – I could say this is a pantry item too, but I’m being nice and I’ll include it. I used about 2.5 oz (I’m working on a block of Plugra right now – so hard to tell tablespoons and whatnot). $0.50
Total = $3.00. And would have been less than $2 if the stupid spaetzle recipe hadn’t required eggs!
Spaetzle with corn and sage
Ingredients (spaetzle part):
2 cups flour
1/2 cup milk
4 eggs
1 t kosher salt
pinch freshly ground nutmeg
Steps:
1. In a bowl, mix together the flour, milk, eggs, salt and nutmeg. Set aside.
2. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil.
3. Place your colander, spaetzle maker, steamer insert (basically – whatever you’ve got that has pretty decent sized holes – you need that batter to go THROUGH the holes here – so use your best judgement) over the pot of boiling water. Pour the batter in your colander and force through the holes. Use a spoon, spatula, your hands, whatever it takes but just get that stuff through the holes.
4. Let spaetzle boil for a few minutes (it probably already has by the time you get it through the colander).
5. Drain and rinse with cold water until spaetzle is cool to the touch. Set aside.
Ingredients – Brown Butter with Corn and Sage part:
1 T canola or veg oil
1/2 cup minced onion
small can of corn (11 oz)
3/4 stick of butter (let your conscience dictate here – but it’s gotta be enough for a sauce)
8 sage leaves
salt and pepper to taste
Steps:
1. Heat 1 T of oil over medium – medium-high heat in a saute pan.
2. Add onions and saute till soft – about 5 minutes
3. Add butter. Continue to cook till it turns light golden brown.
4. Add sage and corn and heat till warmed.
5. Remove from the heat if the butter starts to get too brown and add the spaetzle (otherwise, leave on the heat and add spaetzle). Stir to coat and cook till spaetzle is warm.
6. Remove from the heat if you haven’t already. Salt and pepper to taste and serve.
Enjoy!
Ms. Pantry Raid
Well, this sounds really good.
This is quite a story, some nights this is just the way it goes. I think these kinds of cooking experiences can be humbling.
I will tell you this just to make you feel better – last week I was feeling lazy and my brain was not functioning at a particularly high level, Nick made some fresh pasta to eat with a shrimp & tomato sauce I was making, instead of boiling the fresh pasta in water like I know I should have, I threw it in the pan with a scant 1 cup of sauce. What do you think that yielded me? If you guessed a gummy mound of what was once fresh pasta then you would be right. It was quite a catastrophe. So we ended up eating shrimp for dinner, right out of the pan since I was too annoyed with myself to even put the stuff on plates.
This post had me cracking up!
Sara – And I’m sure as you were throwing the pasta in you were watching it in slow motion – but there’s no way to stop it! Those are the type of days that make me wonder why I make such an effort cooking. 🙂
Branny – Lol! So you are laughing with me, not AT me right? 🙂
[…] against panties again, and again making it totally worth it because holy CRAP do I love spaetzle. Spaetzle with corn and sage brown butter, doubly so. Spaetzle when the cooking involves anger and burning oneself, triple-y so. That is, […]
I have never made spaetzle before – maybe (MAYBE) I’ll try it – but I’ll make sure to learn from your, uh, misfortunes!
Actually, I did catch myself reaching into a deep fryer one time for something – fortunately, I caught myself before it was too late!
It’s just not safe to be in the kitchen when you’re sick, is it?
Like gnocchi, this seems so labor intensive and we’d be bound for mishaps. Thumbs up to you for doing it though! Sage and brown butter are a fantastic pairing.
I don’t know — gnocchi is about as labor-intensive as making an omelette. Which is to say, not at all.
In fact, I made a batch last night. Came out perfect.
Chris —
Sorry to hear your spaetzle didn’t come out well. Orzo is a good substitute if you ever decide to make this dish again. Also brown butter sauce usually doesn’t contain onions. 😉
Sorta beg to differ on the gnocchi comment. Well, at least potato gnocchi are pretty intensive. Ricotta gnocchi are rather easy (still not QUITE as easy as an omelet though).
Thanks for keeping me honest re: brown butter sauce – didn’t even realize I had said “sauce” (hey, I was really sick when I posted this – that’s my excuse!) till your comment! It has since been removed and is simply brown butter. 🙂
Wow, I like spaetzle but wow.. complicated. Sounds fantastic! And cheap…. hmmm… I have one of those old “over the bowl” graters, I bet that would work….
I grew up eating spaetzle. It was one of my favorites. Yours is a lot more elegant. Will you ever try it again?
Of course! I have to stress again that I was really sick when I made this and, therefore, irritated before I started. I’ll give it a shot again now that I’m healthy. Although I’m thinking a version with cheese would be best. I’m going for German food tonight, so maybe will get some ideas!
My husband is mostly German and I love spaetzle so I’m going to have to try this…it looks and sounds delicious!